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13.3.15

A Body Image Update & Why Am I Not Like Her



It's been a while since I did an update on my situation with my body dysmorphic disorder. You can read my first post here. I posted that six months ago. I can see how far I have come considering the fact I only had one photo of myself online and I was to scared to put anymore on because I kept telling myself I would be judged. Part of my treatment was to get my face out there and I have and I'm chuffed I have. I really like doing the photos for Outfit Of The day but I'm still very harsh on myself. There are over 100 taken of me and it takes me days to pick four or five of myself because I'm picking on little things such as my jaw line or my stomach. I know I shouldn't but because of my issues I can't help it. 

The main thing that comes into my head when I look at myself is "Why am I not like her". I know the girls by heart who I compare myself too, I know their shape, size and style by heart. I have been put down ridiculous amounts growing up and I have been compared to more girls by people than is normal. But the funny thing is right now in my life I'm not being compared by anyone but myself. I really have taken on the role that others had to play. It's like an addiction, I purposely go onto someones Instagram to compare myself and then feel shit for the rest of the day. I know I will feel like nothing and I will want to change myself but I have to do it. In some crazy way before I do it I get excited and then once it's over I'm so harsh on myself. 

I have read a few peoples blog posts who say that they are comparing themselves to people online and can't help it as well. I do think that Social Media has slightly screwed us all up. Of course we get so much good out of it but the whole comparing thing is just a massive black pit that a lot of us are stuck in. I mean come on we all know that the lifestyle people post online is the fluffy side? We don't post the bad stuff so why would they? Yet we still look at what others have and get upset? 

It's a grey area but I do plan to sort it out with help. Iv'e told my partner what I'm doing so he keeps a little eye on me when I'm scrolling just to notice when and why I'm doing it. 

I can't give any advice to any of you who are doing the same as me because I'm still doing it! I guess this post is to say your not alone when your putting yourself down. I think it's pretty normal in today's society and I think that's really sad. I guess we all need to just learn and blossom into our own person and not what others are.  



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15 comments

  1. I completely understand! Me and my sister both suffer with low body image and starting a blog really helped us. This time last year we never took pictures of ourselves and I felt like throwing up when I looked in the mirror because I hated myself so much. Starting a blog is helping us take pictures and grow our confidence. It's still really hard to deal with it because like you said, you can't help but feel like people may judge you. Sorry for the long comment but I just wanted you yo knoe that you are not alone! You are so stunning and you should never feel insure because you are beautiful :) your style is perfect too. Good luck with gaining you confidence!! <3 x x x

    http://www.beyondthevelvet.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! That honestly means the world to me! I'm sorry that both of you suffer with low body image but I am happy that your blog is helping you both! You both are too beautiful and I love your styles! Good luck to both of you as well. Xxxx

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  2. I can totally relate, I do the same things. But some days I am like wait why is being "skinny" a thing? Why are we so ashamed if we are what people call "fat"? Everyone is different and putting yourself down isn't worth it, because at the end of the day you are going to be you and one day you will find someone who is going to love you for you and not the size you are. Though I do this a lot as well and I know it sucks. Accepting yourself is one of the hardest things in life but maybe one day we will but until then keep your chin up :)

    Florals&Smiles
    Twitter

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    1. Thank you! I agree! Learning to accept yourself is so hard but I believe that it is possible!
      Xx

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  3. I absolutely agree-- things could always be worse. The one thing I always tell myself when I start comparing myself to others is that I'd rather have the family I have, grow up in the place I grew up in and live the life I had lived rather than be the person who I envy. I think back to all the great memories. And although I may feel like I don't look half as pretty as someone else, I feel that everything I have been through, everything I have experience, my whole entire life is MY life. It makes me ME.

    Connie | Sponsored by Coffee | Bloglovin’

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    1. I love your comment! It's always good to look at what you have because it reminds you that life isn't so bad after all!

      x

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  4. I love your post, you pretty much explained how probably most people feel! I agree that Social Media is to blame. Especially teenagers are very sensitive and we succumb to this influence.

    Sara Wallflower

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    1. Social Media is causing more problems than people know! I just hope that things will change, someday.

      x

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  5. Social Media has made this whole thing even worse. Teenagers and young adults are the most vulnerable and no matter how hard I try staying of social media is never easy!
    Great post!
    Aleeha xXx
    http://halesaaw.blogspot.co.uk/
    http://halesaaw.blogspot.co.uk/

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  6. Wish you by all my heart that as soon as possible you will love your body and yourself completely! But I remember when I was a younger woman I was also more insecure about my body and me - and now I can see that at that time I was really well in shape :) Fortunately today I don't care as much as in the past, and life becomes much easier due to this fact for me. All the best to you <3
    xx from Germany/Bavaria, Rena
    www.dressedwithsoul.com

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    1. Thank you so much. You are so kind!
      I'm pleased you feel much better!
      x

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  7. Wow it's so strange to see someone feel the exact same as me and write it as you have. I'm sorry you don't feel good in yourself, you should because you're beautiful even if you can't always accept it. I bet girls look at you and think "why can't I look like her?" the exact same way you do other girls too.Stay positive xxx

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    1. Thank you for your lovely kind words! You too are beautiful! I'm sorry you feel the same way as me and I hope you start to feel better in yourself soon!

      xx

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  8. Couldn't agree more! All people (myself included..) is compare. It's become a habit for everyone I think! X

    Taylor Swift style steel on the blog-
    hailandharmony.blogspot.ie
    // BLOGLOVIN

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    1. It's such a shame that this is the normal thing to do now!

      xx

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