Comments

18.4.15

My Life With Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

I thought today I would share with you a little bit more about me and the illness I suffer with. I have shared some posts like this before and I have have been told that I have helped people so hopefully I can with this one! I would just like to point out I won't be going into great detail at all about my trauma as I don't want this to trigger anyone! 

When I was eighteen I was diagnosed with PTSD. If I am honest it wasn't a shock, I slightly knew I had it as I was constantly looking on Google at the symptoms I was having at the time. 

I grew up in a very abusive house hold for eighteen years. It started when I was born and it ended before my eighteenth birthday. It was just me and my mum against hell and I didn't tell anyone because of the fear that had been put into my head that "bad things would happen".  I pretty much went into myself when I turned twelve and I began self harming and I then started to refuse to go to school so I ended up being home-schooled. I kept everything to myself, I didn't tell a soul. Even when I was under Child Mental Health Services I kept my mouth shut and I lied and made out that my home life was the most perfect thing in the world. Everything changed before my 18th Birthday when the person that caused all the problems was finally caught out and arrested. You would think that after the person was arrested I would be okay as it was over but it is a different story. 

Living with PTSD is very hard. My daily life is a struggle as the illness has some nasty side effects. I suffer from flashbacks everyday. I can be out in the sun or watching a movie and bang I have a flash back. I guess the only way I can describe them is: it's like a black piece of paper covers your eyes and something inside your head turns on a video of your past and you are made to watch it. The flashbacks I can have in the day do stop me doing things I want to because I don't want to have them around people I don't know and they also make me scared that the trauma is going to happen again. I also suffer from awful nightmares. I re- live the trauma while I am asleep so I can't get away from it. They can be sometimes worse than flashbacks because they are so realistic. Sometimes when I wake from them I have no idea where I am for only a short period.  This now leads me onto triggers. Thing's can trigger off my flashbacks and nightmares. I have to avoid things such as, violent movies, going out on my own, arguments, ect. The problem is with PTSD the more you avoid things the harder it is to overcome things. 

I have had my first session of treatment and I am seeing an improvement. I am also on medication and after a few failed attempts I'm now on the right pills so I feel a bit more in control. It's been three years since I was diagnosed and I feel in a much better place and I feel that I am on the road to recovery.  I wanted to do this post because I want people who have trauma to know that, you can get better and have an amazing life. Just ask for help. 

Here is a link to Mind - about ptsd here.
Share:

17 comments

  1. I'm sorry you had to go through so much. It's so hard to open up about things like this, especially with it being extremely personal. I love that you're strong enough to do so, though.

    Connie | Sponsored by Coffee | Bloglovin’

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your comment! That really does mean a lot!
      xx

      Delete
  2. I am so pleased that your treatment is going well and you're seeing improvements. You're such a strong person! I agree that with everything, the more you avoid, the harder it becomes. I know this is a different issue but I have social anxiety and the only way to overcome that is to expose yourself to social situations.
    Keep us posted and I hope you're okay! x x

    www.beyondthevelvet.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment guys! I hope you feel better soon yourself! You both are amazing, stay strong!
      xx

      Delete
  3. I am so sorry you had to go through that - you are such a strong person, and kind, to share it <3 It's amazing to hear that you're seeing an improvement with the treatment and I hope it continues to help.
    Stay strong, beautiful lady!

    xx
    http://www.oliviaemily.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your comment! Your words mean the world! Thank you <3
      xx

      Delete
  4. I'm sorry you had to go through something so awful. I think it's so brave of you to write such a raw and honest post about what has happened to you because I'm sure it will inspire others to be more brave about anything they are facing in their lives. I hope that your treatment continues to go well. Much love.

    http://www.abigailalicex.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I really hope I can inspire others as it's such a awful illness! Thank you :)
      xx

      Delete
  5. First off I am so sorry that you had to go through such an aweful experience but I want to thank you for sharing your story and allowing others who are suffering to understand! You are such a brave woman who is inspiring others by telling your story! Good luck with the rest of your treatment! xxx

    www.houseofheight.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words, I hope I can help others and let others know that they are not alone! Thank you!!
      xx

      Delete
  6. You're so brave for sharing - well done. A really moving post - I'm always super careful about sharing personal things and about my own PTSD, I wish I could have this courage! xx

    Sophie Elizabeth
    www.popcornandglitter.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words! I'm so sorry you also have PTSD, if you ever need a chat I am always here! You will have the courage one day!
      Stay Strong!
      xx

      Delete
  7. I hope you make even more improvements dear, And I´m impressed at how brave your are, I bet you really help people with the same illness x3 good luck !!!! xx

    dresses-and-travels //@susandollparts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I really hope I can. If I can help one person I will be happy!
      xx

      Delete
  8. You are so strong and so brave. Living so long in hell, I can't imagine what you went through but knowing you're taking step to get better and still being here today is fantastic. The road to recovery is long but you'll get through, you will <3

    xx Bash | Bash Says Hey | bloglovin'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! That really means a lot! Yes the road is long but everyone can get there!
      xx

      Delete
  9. I am so sorry to read this but I am glad that you shared it! Stay strong and good things will follow :) Believe in you!
    xx

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog! I read every single one of them! Please leave your link when commenting and I will take a look at your blog!

BlogLovin

© Fix Me In Forty Five | All rights reserved.
Blog Design Handcrafted by pipdig