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17.10.15

Things you learn living on your own


1. You are not a god, you will kill all the plants no matter what think. End Of. 
2. You will have a plastic bag draw to "save the planet" and you wont use one of them, you will just keep paying 5p. 
3. Toothpaste is expensive so pea sized amounts are the way forward. 
4. "Trying" to clean the whole place turns into a shove under the sofa session, screw putting things away you are a adult now doing adult things.
5. You will worry every time you go out you haven't turned the gas off. Oh and your straighteners, what if you didn't shut the door?!
6. Cheap loo roll isn't nice unless you have a thing for sandpaper. Ouch!
7. You will start to hide all your expensive food when people come over. More for you, you go girl!
8. Being a domestic goddess at your dinner party really means having a breakdown in the kitchen with the bottle of wine for the risotto.
9. Using all of the towels you own after your bath = one really angry partner. 
10. Dying your hair becomes a slow and steady process and you put protection on the floor now and stand really still until it's done. Screw your mothers floor yours is far more important.
11. You find yourself worrying about people coming over in case they ruin your cushion arrangement. "You can't sit with us" 
12. You are a DIY pro when it comes to changing a light bulb, why didn't you do this before?
13. Cleaning the loo becomes a surgical mission.
14. Spending £200 on a hoover is to painful when there is new makeup out so a cheep one you end up kicking around with anger is your cleaning routine.  
15. You have to empty your kitchen bin into a real bin outside and don't think a candle will help you there with the smell.
16. Drying your clothes is a nightmare when it's raining. How did your mum do it? 
17. Unless you are posh your oven doesn't clean it's self and if you want to have your alarms going off all the time keep going, added flavor. 
18. Walking from the bathroom to the kitchen to the bedroom naked is very free just shut the blinds fist..
19. You are not Mary Berry.
20. Cooking a whole chicken is one of the most worrying things you will ever do. 

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